just say no

No. The two letter word that can bring someone's mood down. The two letter word that some of us hate saying, myself included. Whether it's work, family, friends, strangers, or school, I could just never seem to say it. I've always wanted people to like me. I just couldn't bear the thought of someone hating me or thinking that I wasn't worth their time. As a result, I'd find myself sacrificing sleep to help someone with a project, or going someplace that I had no desire of going to. I'd sacrifice "me time" because I didn't want to be too self-absorbed. I'd tell people things that I never wanted to tell them in the first place, and all because I didn't want them to think that I didn't value them or care enough about them.

Well, I finally said no. When practically a stranger whom I had been texting for two weeks since my breakup asked me to drive an hour to see him and "get to meet him," I said no. But I felt bad about it. The crazy thing is, there was absolutely no reason for me to feel bad about it. I had known about a certain reputation that this guy had, and let me just tell you, it's not something that he should be proud of. But maybe he is, and maybe his buddies are, but as a woman I found it rather off-putting. So when he asked me to "hang out," I said no. I discovered that I respect myself enough to not go and "hang out" with this guy whom I barely know. Now, I'm pretty proud of myself for saying no. Did he continue to pester me for a reason why? Yes, although I really didn't need to give him one. So I told him it wasn't a good idea, and the response? "No hard feelings, but you suck." Needless to say, he doesn't text me anymore, but I don't mind. I didn't need anyone that toxic in my life anyway.

Saying no doesn't make us selfish, and it doesn't mean that we hate people. Sometimes we just need a little time to ourselves and that's completely okay. Giving reasons for saying no aren't necessary, either. We don't always have to talk about our past just because someone shared theirs and now they're expecting the same. We don't always have to tell our friends why we had a really rough day, even if they insist. Maybe we just don't want to relive it, or want a little privacy. And most importantly, we don't always have to Skype with our exes even if they ask us nonstop and then continuously ask why not. In fact, we should probably let go of that clingy ex.

something to believe in

Everyone needs something to believe in. Whether that something is God, Allah, nature, or yoga, everyone needs something to believe in. That doesn't necessarily mean that everyone needs to be religious, and that doesn't necessarily mean that everyone needs to bow down and sacrifice everything for this one thing. It also doesn't necessarily mean that just because you believe in something associated with a certain religion, that you have to adhere to the guidelines of that religion, or that you must identify with that religion.

I've chosen to believe in kindness. I define kindness as being caring, generous, and helping those who need it. I've decided to take my new belief in kindness to heart and always be kind to others. The Golden Rule says to treat others how you would like to be treated. Well, I want to switch that around so that I treat myself how I would like others to be treated. I need not only to be kind to others, but myself as well. I've put myself down for years running back into my childhood. I would say harsh words to myself whenever I didn't live up to someone's expectations, or whenever I didn't live up to my own. I would do harsh things to my body to avoid any emotional pain. I never gave myself a break. But being mean to yourself doesn't solve anything, and it makes you feel worse. After years of being mean to myself, I'm done. From now on I'll be nothing but kind to myself and others. I'll be kind to my body as well as my mind because I deserve it. Everyone deserves it.